Emptying the Nest

Even if you get exactly what you'd hoped for - a peaceful, orderly transition of your children from little to big, from dependent to independent - you still end up feeling bad.

The nest is emptying.

Your need to be needed is left unfulfilled. You get the terrible void inside, a sense that you no longer fulfill an ascertainable function.

Why does this happen? It makes no sense. Before they were born, you had a fulfilling and full existence. Friends enriched your life. You had a full social calendar. You did bolus hours of volunteer work which fulfilled a need to be needed.

But now...

After having devoted so much time and energy to raising children, suddenly it's all dried up. Your health is pretty good, energy level OK, and this void.

You'll hear plenty of advice about how to handle this, foremost of which is, "Get a function:"

. Get a job
. If you have a job, get a second job
. If you cannot get a second job, sign up for volunteer service
. Get a hobby
. In short, get a life

It's wrong to live through your adult children. All that does is breed dependence and misery, and it's a bad path.

Think back on what you did back before children, about how it excited and fulfilled you, and simply get about the process of doing it again.

You know you can, and it will be even more fun than before.

I sure wish I could take my own advice...